limerick – Serendippity

Two Limericks

There was a poor fellow named Boris
Whose skin was outwardly porous.
When it rained,
He retained.
He was a swell fellow, that Boris.

The bistro’s dishes were très grandiose
Seen on a flat screen, but up close
They tasted foul
(In French, mal,
And in kid-speak, blech, yuck, and gross).

Peace to your ♥!

[A very sparing young poet named Nick]

A very sparing young poet named Nick,
Having mastered the compact limerick,
Yearned for verse
Even more terse,
So he strove to compose a slimerick.

Nick was not only sparing, but picky,
Which made the slimerick extra tricky.
Nothing he tried
Satisfied—
They were all, in a word, slimericky.

I’m also posting my first response to Monty Vern’s Silver Lining June collaboration. In a silver lining poem (Monty’s invention), the last words of each line in the poem are the key words, in order, of another line of poetry, with appropriate credit given to the original poet. The borrowing poet can forget those pesky little words like a, the, and of and can write about an entirely different subject. Thank you, Monty, for the opportunity to participate! Peace to our ♥s!

[“A molten gold flows away from the sun” from “Evening Sea Wind” by Carl Sandburg]

Self-Sabotage

~after Carl Sandburg

Once the heart becomes molten,
Carefully cup the blistering gold
In your hands and gloat as it flows
Through your fingers. Then put the blowtorch away.
Tomorrow, stare at the sun.

“On Stretching” and 1 More

NaPoWriMo22 Day 3 — Two poems today, both using prompts from the poetry scavenger hunt hosted by murisopsis. The first poem uses the prompt word elastic and the second uses the prompt word limber. I hope you enjoy them. Peace to your ♥!

On Stretching

Side against side, 
   neither willing to give,
Is that any way 
   for people to live?
How sad, those hearts 
   encased in hard plastic.
Oh! That we all had 
   hearts of elastic.

A Limerick to Illustrate the Inconsistencies
of the English Language

Let’s say a man needed some timber,
And being exceedingly limber,
Scaled several trees,
Got what he pleased,
And said, “My ain’t I a great climber!”

naming wild hippo

Pity the poor hippopotamus
Who had a rash on his bottomus.
Bright red bumps
On his gray rump
Earned him the name Polkadotamus.

^{Poem title from chapter 9 of poemcrazy by Susan G. Wooldridge.}

One from my poemcrazy project. Peace to your ♥!

[There was a shopkeeper named Moore]

In honor of St. Patrick’s Day, here’s a limerick from way back, probably high school. I have a soft spot in my heart for it. Peace to your ♥!

There was a shopkeeper named Moore
Who, having wallpapered his store,
Said, “I rather doubt
I can see my way out.
It seems I’ve wallpapered the door.”

“Rhymes with ‘Witch'”

I love writing limericks. Peace to your ♥!

Rhymes with ‘Witch’

There once was a very vain witch
Whose nose had a regular itch.
She forbore to scratch
The itchy patch
Because it made all her warts twitch.

There once was an unmarried witch
Who desired a lifestyle switch.
She was a smarty;
The bachelor party
She threw went off with a hitch.

There once was a penniless witch
Who went begging without a stitch.
People threw money—
“Get some clothes, honey!”
Now she’s both well-dressed and rich.

There once was a foul-hearted witch
Who fell into a sewage ditch.
No one was about
To pull her out—
They figured she’d found her true niche.

NaPoWriMo 2019 Day 13 – Write a poem about something mysterious and spooky.

And two more that I just composed:

There once was an elderly witch
Who forgot which spell was which.
She hid it well
But had to tell
When she turned herself into a snitch.

There once was an unlucky witch
Who, on a night black as pitch,
Set her attire,
In error, on fire,
Her first and last magical glitch.

“Slimerick”

Slimerick

Those who are planning to diet
Should beware of ads that scream, “TRY IT!
LOSE WEIGHT QUICK—
IT’S NO TRICK!”
A miracle pill? Don’t you buy it.

© Stephanie Malley

The start of a new year is often a time for renewed resolutions to lose weight. Although I’m not overweight, I do struggle with sugar addiction and binge eating and want to recommend the eating program I’ve followed (mostly!) for a dozen years. Check out the website Radiant Recovery to see what the program offers (think healing). It was developed by Kathleen DesMaisons and has a weight loss component based on her book Your Last Diet.

Her newly revised book Potatoes Not Prozac (2019) gives a complete description of the program. I read the 2008 version–it’s the only book that I can truly say changed my life. I would go to church functions where cookies platters abounded and, after eating a reasonable two or three cookies, spend my time wishing I could have five or six more (c’mon, ten or twelve more). I would stand in the grocery store checkout line resenting the fact that I had young children in the cart with me, who would notice if I added a candy bar to the other grocery items. I kept thinking that if I could just get away for a month, I could get my head straightened out, and then I’d be able to control my eating.

Now I never experience cravings on outings. I feel blue less often, too, and I’m more mentally stable. I’m so grateful that even when I give in to binge eating at times (usually when I haven’t followed the program faithfully), I know what I need to do to get back on track.

It’s a sane way of eating–that’s what I like best about it. Peace to your ♥ !