What I felt in each instance [when her parents died] was…regret for time gone by, for things unsaid, for my inability to share or even in any real way to acknowledge, at the end, the pain and helplessness and humiliation they each endured.
Joan Didion, The Year of Magical Thinking
How easy
it came to us—why
doesn’t Dad
just [insert
action here]: call the doctor,
or get off his butt
and go up
and sit with Mom, or
say something,
or agree
to wearing Depends. Perhaps
it depends on who
is doing
the asking and who
the doing.
This saying
is also true: you don’t know
until you’ve been tried.
The one-year anniversary of my dad’s death is coming up this Monday. He was (not) dealing with his own cancer throughout my mom’s time on hospice. Peace to our ♥s!